Fear of rejection is natural and normal, and the intimidation is real. The fear in a human is the same fear in an animal- it is a defense mechanism.
It seems as though the reality of fear can make it bigger than life, but when you overcome fear, you have overcome the obstacle it creates. This is the reason for this part.
When you are able to demolish fear of any kind you are in control. Fear is something that you don’t “get rid of”, but you overcome. To overcome your fear of rejection, find another fear that is greater, and one that the reward achieved will be greater.
Think back to when the last time you did something that really triggered fear. Why did you not stop? What made you do it anyway? It was likely that you realized there was a reward that was great than the fear itself.
It could be that you were being interviewed for a new job, and you were scared you wouldn’t portray yourself as the ideal candidate. That didn’t stop you from going did it? No! In this situation, you risked rejection because you needed this new employment. You didn’t have another option- or you didn’t in your mind.
We always have a choice to collapse to fear. You didn’t have to go to the interview. You could have convinced yourself that there was a reason to not go.
Was it courage that made you go? It wasn’t courage that made you go through with the interview, it was the fear that triggered the will to confront the fear and the belief there was a greater reward. It was your survival mechanism.
The fact that in order to survive, you needed employment. The reward was greater than the fear. There are many times people confront fear due to a greater fear. There is fear of driving for many people, but, they confront this fear to be independent. The fear of not having transportation is often more paralyzing.
The fear of being dependent on another driver is also eliminated. With practice, the fear of driving is overcome. But, if you were to simply sit behind the wheel and focus on your fear and not start the engine, you’d never experience the reward that driving brings.
This is the same with fear of rejection. When you approach or meet women the rejection of fear is intimidating. If the fear overcomes you, then you do not have the confidence to meet women. In other words, you lack experience. With experience the fear diminishes.
You need to understand this when you experience the fear of rejection. When you realize that it is experience you lack, then it will be easier for you to get over the fear of approaching women.
There are many things you could try- creative visualization, positive thinking, affirmations, hypnosis, and every other mind over matter strategy for overcoming fear.
The downside is that with each of these is that fear isn’t a mind state. Fear is a condition that is real and is physical and it takes action to overcome it. With action you build experience and the more experience you have the less fear you will experience.
Yes, there will still be that magnificent physical rush you feel when you approach a woman, or ask for her number, or to go on a date. But, the more experienced you become, the less intense the action will be.
Now, if you don’t take the experience approach, but try to talk yourself out of the fear or use mind over matter, the greater the fear will likely become.
This will paralyze your initiative and the result will be that you settle for less. With this said, let’s look at the steps involved in confronting fear for a MUST DO- getting her phone number!
